I had the opportunity to be in Jerusalem for Shushan Purim and join in the celebrations and Mitzvot of the day by doing several home visits to Survivor of Terror Families. My 11-year-old daughter Talia, who had the day off from school, joined me.
We spoke at length about who she would meet and what she would see. She was well prepared and was, in fact, a wonderful addition to the day’s events. I am so proud of her empathy and insights into the complexity of the challenges facing the families we visited.
Our first stop was to S., whose husband suffered irreversible damage to his leg in a terror attack many years ago. He later developed other medical issues and has been in a coma for the past year. S. and the children rotate daily visits to him in the hospital.
S., who nursed and cared for him after the terror attack and until his illness last year, never completed her education. She has only worked part-time at basic entry level jobs and now, in her early 50’s, has unsuccessfully sought steady employment. Her husband’s social security benefits barely cover the mortgage, and she was recently diagnosed with cancer.
We visited with S, who was alone for the day watching television. The house was cold and she was dressed in layers of clothing. She explained she could only afford the small heater running next to her feet and that we might want to leave our coats on. We talked and shared some Purim cheer, leaving her with a misholah manot package (the only one she received). She told us she would like to take it to the hospital when she visits her husband.
Our next visit was to a family of six. They have faced many difficult situations, beginning in 1989 when the then young couple was ambushed in Gush Katif. They were both injured and he lost an eye. Despite his handicaps and continuing poor health, he is a dedicated and involved parent who has always worked and been involved in their community. This past year he was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer and underwent several surgeries and treatments. His condition is such that he is unable to be cared for at home and is currently in a nursing facility. The children asked that he come home for Purim. With the help of many caring volunteers this was accomplished.
The house was joyfully decorated for Purim and the table set for a festive meal with only the immediate family. After we ate sweets with the children, we watched as they played on the family’s new computer provided by ATZUM so they could do school work and communicate with their father who lost the ability to speak due to his illness.
Our last visit was to a couple in their late 50’s. In June 2003, O. was injured on the #14 Jerusalem bus bombing. They have extremely limited financial resources and no children. She suffers from great post-traumatic stress and when startled by a noise one day a few months ago, fell down her stairs and breaking her shoulder and arm. Her husband is also very ill and neither is able adequately to care for each other. We arrived to a house devoid of Purim’s joyfulness, the shades drawn, both lying in bed. They have often called asking for basic food assistance so we came with hot food for a Purim meal. We set up the food, opened the blinds and stayed to visit.
When we left, the barrage of questions began. Talia’s questions were tough and challenging! She sounded like my colleagues and could easily have contributed to an ATZUM allocations committee, questioning how funds are best used to help in each case.
Talia asked, “Why do they have a television if they are so poor?” I explained they may have owned it prior to the terror attack or it may have been a gift, and added that not everyone knows how best to prioritize their budgets. This is an issue we grapple with every day. How, as part of the rehabilitation process, can we assist educating families by asking these questions and clarifying priorities.?
Talia was also troubled, as am I, that these people have suffered not only the anguish of a terror attack, but in its aftermath now face serious illnesses.
I explained ATZUM recognizes the pain of these families and how at the time of the terror attacks we focused on addressing immediate needs and crisis intervention. We spoke of the realization that the pain and loss continue, but that ATZUM’s job is to help bring focus to the future. How do we best help each family rebuild, attain educations for their children and vocational retraining for others, help them take those crucial steps towards independence?
And what of the illnesses? Do they have anything to do with terror, with the consequences of post trauma? As illness impedes ATZUM’s work helping a family rehabilitate after a terror attack, what should our role be? Tough questions with no easy answers.
Each family bears a grievous burden, each deserves a brighter future. It is our goal and responsibility to help them achieve that future. The process begins by reaching out, asking the tough questions. It continues with carefully prioritized and allocated assistance to the families, made possible by our donors’ generous support.
I thank my daughter for reminding me that asking the questions is just as important as every other step in the process and that there is often not a readily apparent answer or a solution.
